Friday, March 31, 2006

Well this is my Day 4 entry. It started out as this pretty layout yada yada. But as the journaling came it slowly morphed into this. In the end I kept just scribbling over it and undoing it. Then scribbling over it again. The first two days I felt so confident and happy about it all. But then here I sit feeling no hope. Sometimes I never feel like I will let God make me into He wants me to be. Will I ever be on fire for the Lord again? Wil I ever find victory over depression, laziness, jealousy, and downright horrible actions and heart? Right now I just feel it is all hopeless. But the whole point of this is to just keep on keepin on. It is to just keep reading His Word, to keep praying and to let Him heal me. I just want to pull myself up by my boot straps and change all this. But I fail again and again. Why is it so hard to just take my Jesus at His Word? To just have faith? I need Him. Off to read and pray and hope that tomorrow brings another and better day.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Rhonda said...

WOW!!! Totally amazing! What a beautiful page.

1:56 AM  
Blogger Sinead said...

Awesome looking page, Kim! :)

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

((Hug)) I think the page is beautiful, Kim -- and totally appropriate for what you're talking about. It's a true reflection of how you feel on the inside today. It'll be great to look back on someday -- and yes, I do truly believe that someday WILL come for you. As a Christian I've struggled DEEPLY, but God IS good, and He always comes through -- it's just in HIS time, not ours. Remember, He's working on an eternal time table, and I KNOW He sees your desire to grow with Him.

Ok, sorry...your entry today just really touched me. I hope you don't mind my commentary. ((hug))

Kris - Dreamwyvr

6:55 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

gosh kim. everything you have done these last four days has made me think about my own life so much. its kinda funny how it works, your journaling has been helping ME. Just something to make you realize that what you do is helping other people like me :)

7:33 AM  
Blogger Melissa Ives said...

Wow! ...wow! this is incredible...wow...really touching..

9:29 AM  
Blogger Lu said...

oh, I so love this. the colors are wonderful.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Jean said...

Kim - I LOVE this page! I could have written it myself. I think there are a lot of us struggling with the same things. It helps knowing there are others and that God will help us with this. The last few days the song "Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day has been playing through my head constantly. I love the line about Him meeting us wherever we are. He doesn't expect us to be perfect - just to remember that we need Him! {Hugs}
Jean

4:34 AM  

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