Popularity Contests
Okay so I was reading a few blogs tonight and it was mentioned that one site was too much of a popularity contest so they left, etc. etc. Is it just me or does it seem like everywhere is a popularity contest? I have been trying to frequent a few different sites lately and it feels that way everywhere. Sometimes I try and just assume it's my self esteem issues causing it. WIll I ever feel good enough? I am amazed sometimes that the person who used to be so self confident is now someone who feels inferior in every situation. Why do we do that to ourselves sometimes? Why? I mean I want to just love myself, to treat myself right, to be able to live my life as it should be led. Instead I never feel good enough for myself, and hence never for anyone else. I have to start looking at it all really. I mean the weight, the house, the children and all the things that I have let crumble around me, is it all just because I can't or don't really love myself? I would never be as hard on anyone else as I am with myself. I can't even think something without second guessing myself. Truly it is getting to a point that well... just to that point. So it is hard for me to try and plug in in the digi world. Silly huh? I mean the feeling of the "cool crowd" should have died in high school, yet still I feel like no matter what or where I will never be a cool kid. Am I the only one that feels that way? Like even on the stupid internet people hardly care whether you're there or not. Oh this self loathing crap is getting old. Oh to wake up and exercise and feel happy. Honestly I haven't felt that way since CLay was sick. I don't know that I have had a single happy day since before then. I used to. All the time. I used to wake and read my Bible and do school, and work in the garden and watch chicks hatch, and write sweet notes to my husband, and love him the way he deserved, and tried to love myself the way I deserve to be loved. Yunno I am off to iron a short for Clay, write him a sweet note, do my new Bible study and pray. Tomorrow is another day. Though with 4 pies to make, not without stress :)
posted by Kim at 1:03 AM
11 Comments:
I feel the same way. Sooo many sites are just a huge popularity contest. It's frustrating...because I'm not the 'popular' type. I can try and try, but that doesn't mean anything.
So, now I lurk on several sites and participate in two. I post my layouts everywhere, lol...but it's hard to keep up.
I'm so tired of the high-school mentality...I've come so close to giving up. It's ironic that the one person complaining about it less than a year ago runs one of the worst sites for the "popularity contest" type attitude.
I hear ya! I know that if I disappeared tomorrow, nobody online would notice! but that's ok, so long as I don't derive my self-worth from others (grin)
get selfish hun! do what you like, suit yourself, create, scrap, doodle - all for you! if others benefit, then that's a bonus
life's too short to get caught up in a pissing contest . . .
Kim, I know the feeling, my dear! You're not the only one. I tend to think of myself as invisible at times. Then I just sit back and remember what's really important!
And between me and you--your products and you--definitely cool ;).
I totally agree with you!!!
Don't get discouraged or give up on your passion! Your work is amazing! Continue to do what you do because you love it :)
Hey Kim...I certainly know who you are & think your a fabulous designer. You're right, everywhere is a popularity contest. I guess it just happens that one site had some people that I have more in common with.
I suppose it's a matter of that quick connection you have with someone, kwim? I try my hardest to not be exclusive & comment on a post with very few replies (cuz I hate when that happens to me) or leave a comment on a layout that doesn't have a ton of praise.
And it's starting to come to a point with me that I'm really not posting anywhere exclusively...I post my layouts in three or four galleries that I frequently cruise and I reply to MB posts to help with a question or say Happy Birthday to a friend.
Other than that, I really don't care if nobody misses me. I've got my friends & if someone wants to be cliquey and exclusive then screw them. Come on...say it with me...screw 'em! *Hugs*!!!
I think it's the nature of women to need to belong and feel safe somewhere. It's just easier to be clique-y online where everyone is 'pretend.'
*hugs*
love, me <><
Those are my words...how did you get them?!?!? I think we've had this conversation before, though. At times I feel that the whole dang digiscrap community is a popularity contest...I ask myself what I'm not doing right, why my designs/layouts aren't as good as those others getting all the attention. But then I remind myself something I was told by a very special person...do what you love and it will work! You've come such a long way since we met at that chat...you know I love your work! Keep at it and just try to make yourself and your family happy...that's all that really matters, anyway. Hugs.
I feel the same way. It sucks. It's like if you aren't a popular one don't bother posting in a gallery or a message board because you get no response.
I think many of us feel the very same way that you do. The only difference in my case is I am always unsure if there is a reason I'm not "one of the popular girls". LOL However, I think of you as one of those I admire because I love your work!! You are definately known in the digi scrapping world cause you have such an awesome sense of style! Keep doing what you do because you love it and not because you want to please others!
sorry i know old thread but I read Kim's {scrapingmoma} blog then Kathy's blog and they where both talking about this so I came to read the 'start' if you will HEHE
Personaly - I wonder if the popular girls know they are the popular girls???
See - I would of placed you in that section Kim!! I've seen your name around - know that you are well respected ...
Funny isn't it.
I think we all suffer the same inscurities - I know I'm not popular - but then maybe someone out there thinks I am....
You must be talking directly to me, hey? haha Maybe that's just my giant self-absorbed swelled head talking but boy it's just how I had been feeling too. So glad you had the courage to post this. Amazing how we always feel as though we are never good enough just as we are. I think it's an age thing with me. Maybe it's the growth into adulthood at this stage in life? I don't know. I, like you, was self confident or at least in some areas and then it seemed to vanish with the pressures and uncertainty of life. It's coming back now. PTL.
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